Self reflection

I have a 4 day weekend this weekend.
My plan is to use this time for some serious self reflection. I started tonight.
It is pretty nerve wracking, scary and well interesting. It is going to be a long 4 days, but I am actually looking forward to it as well.
My job has shown me that to be really happy is to make an internal choice. I have also discovered how much some people really want to figure out those around them. I am also incredibly independant and don't like people invading my personal space. So this is a really hard journey for me but something I really need to do.
Reading books are good and help me on my way, but it is about my decision to be happy. I have to really want it. The problem is that maybe I don't want to be happy. I am finding it really hard. So bizarre.