Today was a good day.
I went and joined the gym today. I feel prety for joining, now I just have to go. They have a program with the instructors that check up on you every month, so I will be accountable to someone which means it will more likely work.
I have to keep up the good work and I will get better. I am looking forward to the process of getting better.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
The pursuit of happiness
What can make us happy?
It is something that I am grappling with recently.
So I have decided to document my progress in happiness.
I have started my medication today and I want to be better. So by telling others how I am going through this journey then maybe I can help others.
I am good.
My afternoon at work was great. I was aware and motivated to work. I had things to be done and I got them done.
I had dates scheduled and I cancelled them. It is time I thought about me and my progress.
I am not a naturally happy person and I want to be.
I hope if anyone reads this and it helps them then I know what I am going through was worth it.
It is something that I am grappling with recently.
So I have decided to document my progress in happiness.
I have started my medication today and I want to be better. So by telling others how I am going through this journey then maybe I can help others.
I am good.
My afternoon at work was great. I was aware and motivated to work. I had things to be done and I got them done.
I had dates scheduled and I cancelled them. It is time I thought about me and my progress.
I am not a naturally happy person and I want to be.
I hope if anyone reads this and it helps them then I know what I am going through was worth it.
Back to the Future
Well what can I say.
After some serious reflecting and a really long chat with mum, I made an appointment with my doctor. Things have not been quite right for a few weeks.
I went to the doctors and I am back on my anti-depressants. I feel a little like I am admiting defeat. But it was the right thing. I needed something to give me a kick to get better again. I don't like that I need drugs to make me feel better. But it is funny that when I am on my anti-depressants I feel great, I feel human and I can function in the world.
I am feeling better and lets hope this time it will stick.
After some serious reflecting and a really long chat with mum, I made an appointment with my doctor. Things have not been quite right for a few weeks.
I went to the doctors and I am back on my anti-depressants. I feel a little like I am admiting defeat. But it was the right thing. I needed something to give me a kick to get better again. I don't like that I need drugs to make me feel better. But it is funny that when I am on my anti-depressants I feel great, I feel human and I can function in the world.
I am feeling better and lets hope this time it will stick.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Self Reflection part 2
Well it was a long weekend, but amazing.
Things have been pretty off for me recently and after a couple of conversations with people I have decided to go back to the doctor and look at going back on my anti-depressants. Not something I want to do, feels a bit like admitting defeat, but it is also admitting I need help.
Thinking about all kinds of stuff is pretty scary but it certainly helped me see a few things a lot clearer which was really great. It has given me a point to start on the recovery again.
When I went to work, my boss asked how things were and how I was feeling. It was good we had a bit of a chat, but it feels a lot like he is trying to figure me out and I don't think I want him to figure me out. He also wants to try and solve all my problems. I hate that. I just like to get things off my chest. It is such a boy thing to try and solve.
But working where I do has meant that I have a lot of support and hopefully this time round I will be successful in increasing my happiness, etc.
Things have been pretty off for me recently and after a couple of conversations with people I have decided to go back to the doctor and look at going back on my anti-depressants. Not something I want to do, feels a bit like admitting defeat, but it is also admitting I need help.
Thinking about all kinds of stuff is pretty scary but it certainly helped me see a few things a lot clearer which was really great. It has given me a point to start on the recovery again.
When I went to work, my boss asked how things were and how I was feeling. It was good we had a bit of a chat, but it feels a lot like he is trying to figure me out and I don't think I want him to figure me out. He also wants to try and solve all my problems. I hate that. I just like to get things off my chest. It is such a boy thing to try and solve.
But working where I do has meant that I have a lot of support and hopefully this time round I will be successful in increasing my happiness, etc.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
The Olympics
The Beijing Olympics are over. Well the closing ceremony is still going. I always thought this was supposed to be a party. Not so much a party than an Opera. But beautiful none the less.
I have to say I did have a little tear when the flame went out. Although these games were not as successful for Australia, I still think we did damn well considering how small a population we are. We were only two medal behind Great Britain who did freakishly well. Good for them. Plus being here I don't hear the end of it. I think the highlight for me was watching an Australian beat the Chinese in the diving, go Matthew Mitchum.
I am hoping that my cousin will be at 2012. Trampolining may not be a massive sport, but it is great watch, along with gymnastics and diving, my favourite sports of the Olmpics.
I was a little disappointed with the London show preparing us for 2012. The least Beckham could have done was kicked the ball around a little bit and then boot it into the crowd. I wonder if he will be at London 2012. I guess we will just have to wait and see.
I would love to be here in London for 2012. That will make 2 Olympic games in 12 years. Shit 12 years, how scary is that. Not sure if I want to volunteer for those ones. Thinking about a 12 year difference just makes me feel really old.
The party has started in Beijing, with Jackie Chan singing. He certainly has many talents.
Go London 2012, C'mon Australia.
I have to say I did have a little tear when the flame went out. Although these games were not as successful for Australia, I still think we did damn well considering how small a population we are. We were only two medal behind Great Britain who did freakishly well. Good for them. Plus being here I don't hear the end of it. I think the highlight for me was watching an Australian beat the Chinese in the diving, go Matthew Mitchum.
I am hoping that my cousin will be at 2012. Trampolining may not be a massive sport, but it is great watch, along with gymnastics and diving, my favourite sports of the Olmpics.
I was a little disappointed with the London show preparing us for 2012. The least Beckham could have done was kicked the ball around a little bit and then boot it into the crowd. I wonder if he will be at London 2012. I guess we will just have to wait and see.
I would love to be here in London for 2012. That will make 2 Olympic games in 12 years. Shit 12 years, how scary is that. Not sure if I want to volunteer for those ones. Thinking about a 12 year difference just makes me feel really old.
The party has started in Beijing, with Jackie Chan singing. He certainly has many talents.
Go London 2012, C'mon Australia.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Self reflection
I have a 4 day weekend this weekend.
My plan is to use this time for some serious self reflection. I started tonight.
It is pretty nerve wracking, scary and well interesting. It is going to be a long 4 days, but I am actually looking forward to it as well.
My job has shown me that to be really happy is to make an internal choice. I have also discovered how much some people really want to figure out those around them. I am also incredibly independant and don't like people invading my personal space. So this is a really hard journey for me but something I really need to do.
Reading books are good and help me on my way, but it is about my decision to be happy. I have to really want it. The problem is that maybe I don't want to be happy. I am finding it really hard. So bizarre.
My plan is to use this time for some serious self reflection. I started tonight.
It is pretty nerve wracking, scary and well interesting. It is going to be a long 4 days, but I am actually looking forward to it as well.
My job has shown me that to be really happy is to make an internal choice. I have also discovered how much some people really want to figure out those around them. I am also incredibly independant and don't like people invading my personal space. So this is a really hard journey for me but something I really need to do.
Reading books are good and help me on my way, but it is about my decision to be happy. I have to really want it. The problem is that maybe I don't want to be happy. I am finding it really hard. So bizarre.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
The Exorcism of Emily Rose
I watched this movie last night. Normal I would steer away from movies like this. I am not a scary movie person. But this movie isn't scary.
It deals with the supernatural and a girl believed to be possessed.
I have always been intrigued by the spirit world and its existence alongside our world. I believe that there are spirits that try to influence and guide us. Which makes it all nice, there is also evil and trying to distinguish between the two can be hard sometimes. Watching this movie last night made me think how easy it is for them to cross over and stay.
Some people are going to think I am crazy, but it might explain my favourite tv shows being buffy, angel, charmed.
Once you open yourself up to these things, it isn't so easy to turn it off.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Paris for President
What an interesting ad campaign?
If you haven't seen it, find it. It is witty, and well done. She even has a stance on the energy crisis. A bit of everything. It will probably help she is wearing a bathing suit. Would be good to know if she wrote it herself or whether it came from one of her people.
Definitely put a smile on my face and wouldn't you think she would make a great US president.
Vote for Paris!
If you haven't seen it, find it. It is witty, and well done. She even has a stance on the energy crisis. A bit of everything. It will probably help she is wearing a bathing suit. Would be good to know if she wrote it herself or whether it came from one of her people.
Definitely put a smile on my face and wouldn't you think she would make a great US president.
Vote for Paris!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)