Better

It has been almost a week. I am feeling better, but it is still hard.
I am thinking about going back to Oz. There isn't anything really keeping me here anymore.
I thought I knew what I wanted, but not anymore.
To be honest I am a little scared of what my future holds.

Sad

I never thought that I would be this sad.
I feel broken, like there is a huge hole in my heart.
I have never felt so alone.
I just wish I felt ok.

Creamed Corn

It is funny how the simple things are often what make life just that little bit easier to deal with. I was wandering around Tesco and found creamed corn. I have been looking for it since I got here, and now I found it. But I don't have anyone to share it with.
Dean and I broke up this weekend. I am so sad and part of me just wants to lie in bed all day and do nothing. I start crying for absolutely no reason. I know I will be okay, but it is hard. He wanted to make sure I was okay. But it is hard to still see him at Daytona.
Time is now for me to spend some time on me which is good. But I want to be with him.
You will always be in my heart Dean.

Longleat

I just spent a week on holidays in Longleat. There is a place called Ceterparcs which is great. It is a holiday resort with hundreds of things to do.
On the first day we went on a safari which is outside of Centerparcs, at Longleat house. There were so many different types of animals. The monkey enclosure was fun, with monkeys climbing all over the cars, which meant a very slow journey through there. The deers were the scariest. You think deers are cute and sweet, no way. You can buy food and feed the deers, which the deer know and they attacke the car. We had 2 or 3 deer heads coming through each window trying to get food. Crazy.
Centerparcs is in the middle of Longleat forest andall the villas are amongst the trees. It is really beautiful. You can't hear any cars, no pollution and lots of animals. There were squirrels, ducks, rabbits and birds all over the place. All of them come up to your door to see if they can get fed.
There is os much to do that if you are bored then you are clearly an uninteresting person. There is the Lagoon pool which is heated and indoors and outdoors, all weather. There are rapids around the outside which was very fun and a couple of hot tubs.
Martyn bought his Wii with him so we were playing that. I so want to get a Wii.
It was a really nice break, and hard to come back to civilisation.

Hair

Why is it that when we want to change something in out lives, we start with our hair. I am sure it is probably just a girl thing. Recently I went blonde, though it turned more ginger than anything else. It actually doesn't look to bad, would have preferred blonde. Now I want to cut my hair. Then I might try and actually go blonde properly.
Dean isn't so sure about the ginger. The haircut might get rid of some of it. My roots are already growing out. Scary how quickly it grows.
Well lets see how it goes!